Total Amazonia

2005-12-06T19:43:00.000-08:00

like i am total sorriness. like it is my total badness. like total nono that is total wrongness and not goodness. like i havent been here to like put in total records for this total longevity time. that is total SACRILEDGENESS. like that is total badness so now i have to like, offer offerings to like YIHZYDGZSBGO the God of daily online records. like i am supposed to like record online like everyday.

woewoeowoe! like i have to go total punish myself. like that is total badness. like i have to go and like total go on this total pilgrimage which would like take me away for this week. and then this total week is like total badness because i wont be able to give online records and then i would like have to total hit my head on the wall like owowowness. like badness. like its all my total fault and like its so complicated.

like i went for this total longlong holiday to this place called the like, americana. and like, americana is like total urban. like i felt total scaredness and like polluted. like the americanas like total polluted my urbanness. like help ness. like i have to go back to amazonia and like get purified. but that is like bad because i was like total kicked out! like total badness. i have to like, sit home and like total SULK.

like when i went to Americana, it was like total chokeme-ness. but then like, i was brought to the total wildlife nature reserve. like i felt so total SUICIDAL when i went there. like i was so suicidal i started to like, dance. and like people asked me why and like i said i was suicidal because i was like home. then they said i was total madness. like you urbanites drive me mad. like hello? i want to be like, super happy, like suicidal is happy. then you like say i am total mad? like go and like total breatheness.

ahh. like the total feel of chilli slugs are like so amazing. i like feel total suicidal now. like i am so suicidal i shall like, go and do water rituals now. like the urban guy is like using my chilli slug shampoo. like he has no idea what it is right now, but like if i tell him what it really is like, he will be so suicidal too! like i am the suicidal bringer! like the angel of happiness.

2005-11-17T16:50:00.000-08:00

like my foot total hurts so bad. like my foot is like total painness. so like cant typeness. like i am like using my total hands to type. that is like, wrongness and like total badness. using your hands are like, total badness for the keyboard. that's why i like, dont let urban guy use MY COMPUTER. because it is like precious as like i dont use my hands to type and spoil it. like, i am doing that now though because my foot is total painness. like when my knee hurts i also cannot type. it is like so difficult to move. like total helpness.

like this is total shortness because like the total computer will spoil. like urban guy's computer is so total going to spoil because he uses his hands. that is total badness but he wont listen.

like total oopsness. my loincloth just total blew out the window again.

2005-11-09T14:41:00.000-08:00

like i am total wrongedness. like i am total sadness but like i do not know why. like i total pray day and night to like, HGABAGGBIGIDIBGIBGGBIGIAGBGKBGBEDJGBAKGJBSALGKSABGLKAGBEOUBGALKUBAEGKE,
who is like the God of I like cant remember what but like i pray to him because he has this like total supremely long and like unpronuncable like, name. like total coolness and make-senseness.

like i total repeatness, like my English is like total Queens Englishness. it is like so perfect and like total good and rocking. like my grammar is total perfecting and rightness. like, it is the bestest in Amazonia. that's why i am like the supremeness english-speaking ambassador there. but like when the national geographic always like total comeness to film our rural ways, like i speak to them in like total englishness. but they like total laugh and film me. then i total drop my loincloth because like, it gets caught in the camera.

like dropping my loin cloth is total dudeness cool! like when it drops, it is like so so cool like total breeze blow blow. LLEDOK thinks that it is like total wrongness and she like total drops her hair when i drop my loincloth. we are like perfect couple heart unbrokenness! like we total dropness things.

like, dude. dudeness. like dude is like the coolessnesses word in like Amazonia. its like, DUDE. and like, i always call LLEDOK 'DUDE'. like she total loves it. like, dude thisness and like, dude thatness. like DUDE HERENESS AND DUDETHERENESS! like dude is like total rural and made of wood. like total hammer and saw.

like, i have to total go to adult night school. like i wrote this total coolness good grammar essay for the like total urban-teach-man. and he was like total happiness and gave me this like total red grade that said "F". like in Amazonia, like F is like FASFBAIF! which is like, the God of loincloth dropping! like my patron God total likeness FASFBAIF! like they are total friends.

sorryness like total begness. i have to go breath like total nowness.

2005-11-08T14:08:00.000-08:00

like i am total head-swirlness. like you urbanites have so many like, statues of like, IUFAGG, the goddess of breathing in. like you have her like, statue all over the like, 'side walks'. so like, i was paying like amazonian respects to IUFAGG with like, the ceremonial bone and then like this total dog comes to the like, statue and total poopnesses on like it! LIKE THAT IS SO TOTAL WRONGNESS! that is like TOTAL SACRILEDGENESS.

like total curseness to that like, dog. like my like dog in like, Amazonia is like so total betterness. he does not like, poopness on red statues of IUFAGG and he is like total infected with like, things. like total coolness! like, so i like total curseness that total dog and like, his owner is like total more meanness. like the owner did not like even total bow sorriness to IUFAGG! his owner was like total badness and like total said to the cursedness dogness:

"Good Old Joe! You did it at the fire hydrant again"

like whats their total problemness. like what is a fire hydrant? like there is like no such thing as fire. like total wrongness. like in Amazon we are so not urban. we do not use fires. we are like total ruralness and use gas stoves. like, it's not as if fire is like used to cook and like warm us right?

like you urbanites are like total madness.
praise be to IUFAGG who is like total red and like beautyness.

2005-10-26T17:56:00.000-07:00

like total LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL like TOTAL LOLNESS. like i total dont getness that like why you like, urbanites like, always like say "SOS" like, HELLO? like, what is the like, total point of like , SOS? like, SOS is like total sameness from like all angles. like that is total pointless if you like, want help. like we amazonians are like total createness like total make and like thinkness. like when we like, need help we total go LOL. like, lollollollollol!

like total lol as in like helpness! like, you urbanites are like forever like saying 'lol', especially like when you like laugh or are like happy. i mean, that is like TOTAL WRONGNESS. like, hello? like when you need like, help, like, you dont laugh. total total wrongness. like TOTALNESS.

like total LOL! when my like, amazonia mud house like total catches fire! like mud houses are like total fire catchness! like there is like absolutely no wood in like the Amazon. like NO WOOD LIKE TOTAL NO WOODNESS. like total trees are so not woody. like total notness. like ohmyfroggygoddessofnonwoodiness! like you urbanites are like total wrong thinkyness. like thinkyness is like a total word. like since there is like absolutely NO WOOD in like Amazonia, then like, everything is like total easy catching fireness. like total fire catchness like TOTAL LOL! LOL! LOL!

like total dont get the like, LOLZ too. like LOL and like, ZZ is like HELP! and like, sleep. like you total help and like total snore. like FASDYHNJHM the like, god of ZZZ is like total goodness at like, snoring. he like total won the like, annual god competition for like the imaginary like total insaneness sensibility thinkupness kingdom categoryness. like it total funs my brainess.

like i shall total go and train my like god now. like the annual god competition is like, total sooness! like, i will total tellness about it like when my god is like total strongness.

2005-10-20T17:24:00.000-07:00

like i am total not knowness. like i total dont understand like why people like join fanclubs? like, you urbanites are total mixed roundness and wrongness. like i am being total racyness here but like total badness. oh like, i am a total racist... i like total love to race! like total loveness! like when i total race i like total run run run and total drop my loincloth! like total coolness and total funness with breathing.

like total i am total digressering and that is total wrongness. like fanclubs! like they are the total coolest most advanced weapons in amazonia! like total coolness and painfulness with much blood and gore! like total Al Gore who is like our God of disgusting rituals and like, its not as if he's a USA politician like totalness. like the fanclub has blades, spins and like, clubs. like in wormkid school, i like had a like, club and like, we total clubbed the night away! like with my club i like went clubbing, like totalness. dont understand you urbanites that you have to wait till you are total 18 to go a-clubbing. like, just get a club and like, total whackness.

like in total Amazonia, we like total squirm and total roll in muds. like total embarrassing like one day i like, rolled in the mud and like, i found the Shaman-King earthworm called HGDEJ and like i total accidentalness smashed it till it total juiced and total smashed. and total smashness is total smashing and coolness but i total went hyperventilatey and my loincloth total dropped again. and like, Lledok came like, frolicking along like with eukelilies in her hair. like eukelily is so like not a hawaiian guitar. like it is an Amazonian lily. like lilys are bells that like, breathe.

like total am badding and like, i heard like this total girl say that saying stuff about other people is like, called total beaching. like so i am to beach now. like, i total cannot stand the urban guy's boyfriend. like, what's with the clothes? like loincloths are so total inn and like, totalness. like there is like this total new thing that like, is IN in InAmazonianSHop that is like located under the like, MFGCAXDF TREE like near my village. like, it's this total thing that like, plays music like, when you sit down. like i chose the one with the total grindness to powder jungle rythm.

like i total rock and feel shammanny. like total Shaman King is like my favourite song, and it is total about the Shaman monarchy and like it breathes with total water droplets. like i total sing it when i like, do my water ritual i like total sing it. and like, urban guy will like, come in and say like, "Stop burping and farting, dudette" like, what's his total dude problem? like what is burping and farting? like, is it like a secret code language? like OH MY GODDESS OF RUSTY OIL WELLS! like i speak a secret coded language! it's like called JHGFHAGDFAM but like, i dont understand it. like, because it's total codedness.

oh like, dear, like, i have this total test tomorrow in adult night school, and like i have to like, cup for it. or was it like, dish? or like, jug? or like, mug? like student slang is total rockingness and peace withinness.

2005-10-19T20:36:00.000-07:00

like the urban guy like total read my like, talks on this like, page and like he says i am talking total CRAB. like, what is his total problem? like, i so do not talk crab. like, hello? crab is like a difficult language? like you have to total go to the Crab University like to learn..like there you sit all day and talk to crabs and like dig total holes to like, look for them

like, only one person in my village can like, talk crab. it like sounds like he is total grindness his teeth to total powder. like total weirdness.

and like, urban guy like called me a crab. like he said i was like, crappy. or like, crabby? like, same thing. like what a total insultness! like total woe woe woe like total tiptoe and die.

like, i tell you, like nation geographic like always like comes like and films us like totally and like say we are totally like, indigineeneemous like what is that? like, really like total yellow rectangles make me total puke! like total badness. like go breathe and like, breathe.

like total leave me alone and like, i can like go to adult night school tomorrow morning. like total byeness with total waves.

oh and like, i total want to become a shaman. like to do this i total have to rock more with rock spirits. especially like total back and forthness like TOTALLY.

2005-10-19T15:30:00.000-07:00

like total cant think like total stumpness. like STUMPNESS! like when the forest man peopleness chop down tree they get total stumpness! like with woodsies buggs and total infections! like with total drip and die!

like i total like the like total sound of rubella. like it's a total nice name as in like total niceness. like i total am going to marry Lledok and like, have very little children... only 3! but in urbanness, 3 is considered alot! total wrongness! like, hello? i have like total 157 siblings! like and we run and total stampede till like, my mother calls us AGBAGLKGBOG like total wrongness. like anyway i am total going to name my kids, Measels, Mumps and Rubella. like i total heard of that when i went to hospital and like the doctorguy man total saidness to me "we are going to vaccinate you against Measels Mumps and Rubella." LIKE TOTAL COOLNESS! like he total thinks up nice names!

like i total need a new time-telling earthworm i tell you! and like i tried this total local one and it like just shriveled up and total diedness! like i am out of time again! like BADNESS BEYOND GOODNESS LIKE TOTAL MERCY LIKE TOTAL GRINDNESS TO POWDER.

2005-10-18T16:27:00.000-07:00

like i am total no-ideaness. like i total love like total ambiguity is like my total literature essay that i total did at adult night school this total morning. but like, what is wrong with these people? like i went to the adult night school in the morning and like, there was like total no one thereness. that is total wrongness! like it's not as if adult night school is for adults at night right?

like here is an extract from my literature essay, it's based on Shakespeare's Animal Farm. like oh my godofgoldenteethfillings, i love animals like total loveness! like here is my answer:
"like the total stoppingness of miranda and his wife in total playingness his piano showed the total contrast between them and that helps show the abrupt total disinterest in the mood and it total acts like a wet blanket for stephen. it causes the total reader to total feelness the air of disappointment. like total permissioness with no permission with total strained relationshipness."

i am like total rockness. like i am total gay and peace now. like i feel shamanny once more. like with the rocking rock spirits! like totally back and forthly.

like i have no time now like my time-telling earthworm has fallen off my wrist. like OOPS! i accidentally stepped on like it like eew like squish. like ow i total feelness for my watch. LIKE OH MY GODDESS OF BONY BLOOD! like i am total woeness and sorry! like i have to go get another time-telling earthworm. like they are from the Amazon and like are extremely rare. i like know because i total saw it on national geographic. like what's with the yellow rectangle? like green circles are total betterness. like they should be like, total NATURAL AMAZONIA TOTAL LIKE NATURE LOVENESS. like that so only makes sense. like national geographic like showed up on like the Death Festival Day and total filmed me ness and like i total dropped my loincloth in front of the camera man! total coolness!

2005-10-15T14:10:00.000-07:00

like i am total lostness. like OMG like this urban guy with me like, loves me! like he is like, wrong. like he likes guys! like that is total wrongness! like i total did not know! TOTAL WOE BETIDENESS ME! like he said that like he is total gay and homo. like urban guy said that total means he likes guys. like I DO NOT LOVE TOTAL GUYS! total WRONGNESS! if NIKKI our shaman ma ever heard of such a thing, he would total grind his teeth to powder. like gay is total happiness! and homo is total homo sapien! like i am total homo sapien like human like urban guy. i am like confusedness.

forgive me, lledok! oh woe woe woeness!

i total love this girl back in amazonia village. she is total prettiness and her hair is like total blackness like black. like she is total beautiful and womany. like i total want to marry her like total loveness with unbroken hearts! LLEDOK I TOTAL LOVENESS HEART UNBROKENESS YOU! oh woe woe woeness triple like pie.

like i must total stop praying to my patron god and start praying to MJYHVCK! the total God of heartunbrokenness, love, women and total dell computerness. like i dont understand writing.

like if i total take this 'pen' and total writeness on paper... that is TOTAL WRONGNESS! writing is too urban and total sophisticateness techNOlogyness for me! i total use computerness. computer is TOTAL AMAZON NOT URBANNESS.

you urban dudes are total urban and not greeness. that makes me total sadness. i total want greeness to be forever and round in circles like my bogafa dog called XAIUSDF chasing its total tailness that i total cut off because it got infected in the amazon. like total there is infectious and greeness.

GREEN DAY! is like this total coolness band in Amazon. they total painted body green and play on their bongo drums and sing my favorite tribal songs like, LIANF and LAUGBA and grind their green teeth like total grindness to powder. like it's not as if you urbanites have a band called Green Day too and they total play the song "wake me up when september ends". like it's not as if green day is this total rock punk band anyway.

2005-10-13T22:19:00.000-07:00

like i am total cluelessness. like whatness? deforestation? like they are going to undo the forests? like the urban guy tells me 'control + z' is undo? like that is tottal dudeness badness! like total dude, what's their total problem?

like the forest is like my total life and like dude, i total love life. as in life is not death and i dont want to die because if i do i wont get to live life and with the urbannes around me is total stiflingness. like, what's with all the buttons? they are total clicky and pressable and urban, but that is total wrongness. back in Amazon, the only clicky thing is when you grind your teeth to sing my favourite death song "GASIFAVS-NHAFS" like total grindness to powder.

like OH MY GOD-OF-MOTHERGOOSESDUNG, like, the plant outside my total hole-in-the-wall-which-im-sure-is-called-like-a-window, is YELLOW. like amazon is total greeness and muddsy colors. and woo woo slime. like total plant diedness. i have to idea why urban guy gave it to me and put it in a 'pot' like total badness! plants grow free! FREEDOM! PLANT FREEDOM! LIKE LET THE PLANTS TOTAL RUN WILD AND LIVENESS!

oh and urban guy bought me this set of things to wear.. so total not niceness. i still like my soddy total skimpiness loincloth that always drops when i go all hyperventilatey. like that is total nice and hairy. now i have 'shirts', 'pants' and 'breeves' like what are total breeves? it's like this poisnous jungle fruit that i ALWAYS accidentally eat but i know it's BREEVES but i still eat and break out it total sorenss and scratchy till my eye balls roll and i total foam.

then in the old amazon village i used to be the VALDFAHOAS. i always wake up total early and fall into the cold spring get total frozen and get saved by NIKKI our shaman ma. and my mama called me total VALDFAHOAS. which is total stupidness. i am total smart and goodness at language. like my english grammar is total rocking!

rocking with the rock spirits. i feel shamanny again. i shall ask urban guy for rocks to sleep with. they are total purifying and safeness.

oh yes. i aslso have no idea why he gave me 'money'. the money had this weird characters on it: 100 and like i total not knowness to do. so i added it into the slug chilli shampoo. it's total papery and green and smells total rich. and urban guy found out and went to angry he truend red. RED! like the total sun that burns my dark skin and peels!

2005-10-12T17:37:00.000-07:00

like i am total confusedness. i was total kicked out of the Amazonian Rainforest and like total thrown out. like to live urbaness a life of urban dudes. i am total goodness at english and total proness and rocking. total rocks.

rocks are great they have spirits that dont move. the just stone and rock and be spiritual like total alkalily acidic. when i look at rocks i feel peacfeulness and understanding and sensitivity. and i feel shamanny and amazonic. i dont know how that works and it doesnt but it total doesness.

i moved into this urban apartment and Sundale Flora Heights. i see now sun, dale flora or heights. or maybe i do. this apartment is so total highness up it is like on the 3rd floor! like i ahave phobia of heights .. i have anorexia! like fear of heights is total anorexianess!

and this total guy next door has like long hair and he kisses this guy all day. and like total one day he comes and says to me "are you gay?" like oh my goddess-of-happysprings! like i SO am! i am like so gayness! like total gay as in happy! so i told him that i was total gay! and he was so happy!

and like he was total surprised and he said again "so you are homo?"
oh my goddess-of-deathlightningstrike! like total am! i am total homo sapien! so i told him i am total HOMO! and now i am clueless like why this urban guy from next door moved in. and total gave me this gold purple ring to wear? like i am total clueness.

and like, i clean myself each day in what urban guy calls the "sour" and i do my water rituals. and everyday i total pound chilli slug shampoo and urban guy says the smell total 'turns him on' like where is the button to? i total not knowness like total click click says the black box. the black box freaks me out! there are total things like moovees. like what are moovees? like a cow moving a zombi ness?

and anyway when i total go water-ritualness, urban guy come in and watches me. like total cool! he is so gay is smiles all the time and i am total happiness urban guy friends me! but please, urban guy, please dont watch me water-ritualize anymore. it's total sacred and i total pray to my patron god, AGHDOUIOADGUI, the God of thunder lightning clouds flying things bugs and gameboy. like total worshipness with him alone!

like i total leave nowness. i want to visit urban people's online essays and tell them about nature! ant-sty! total punness.